Waiting
by McAbbyAddict
Summary: When Tim meets someone new, Abby is forced to admit her feelings for him. But is she too late? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This popped into my head while I was listening to sad music today; let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters etc.**

She moved slowly around the lab, shutting down the equipment she wasn't using in preparation for the weekend while she waited for the last test to finally finish. As she did so, she reflected on the last few weeks. Work-wise, it had been perfectly normal; the odd murder, an embezzlement case- nothing unusual for the MCRT. It was Tim that had been strange. He'd met someone, a woman named Emily. She'd moved into his building a few months before, and he'd finally worked up the courage to ask her out. Since then, he'd been smitten. Being the kind of guy he was, he hadn't said a lot about their relationship- he wasn't the type to kiss and tell- but he'd said enough to drive Tony and Ziva crazy and make Abby concerned. She chewed on her lower lip as she thought about Tim. She'd realised a few months earlier exactly how much she cared for her favourite geek, but she hadn't been able to decide what to do about it. Now she was starting to get the feeling that it might be too late.

"Hey Abs" his voice came from her doorway, making her jump.

"Hey Tim" she replied, trying to keep her voice cheerful. "Heading out for the weekend?"

"Yeah, just thought I'm come down and say hi before I leave. Got any plans this weekend? It's been a while since we had a weekend off."

She knew it had been an idle question

"The usual. There's an Android Lust concert tomorrow night that I'm going to. Other than that, not much. You?"

"Have to go pick up Emily, then we're heading down to my parents' place"

Startled, she spun towards him

"You're taking her to meet your parents? Tim, you've only been dating her for a few weeks; don't you think you're moving a little fast?"

He gave her a look

"Abs" he warned. "This is between Emily and me."

As she saw the look of determination spread across his face, she couldn't help but remember the conversation she'd had with Tony last week. She'd been complaining about McGee's lovesick demeanour of the last fortnight...

"_Anyway, he'll be over her soon."_

_Tony reached out and stopped her pacing._

"_Abby, I don't think you get it. This is serious."_

"_McGee's always serious, Tony."_

"_Yeah, but this time it's different. I've only ever seen him like this once before- when he was dating you."_

"Anyway Abs, I gotta go or I'm going to be late." He went to leave, pausing as she called him back

"Tim, wait. I-I need to talk to you"

He turned back towards her, his expression wary. In his experience, those words were almost never followed by something good.

"What is it, Abby?" he asked

"You're serious about her, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Abby, I am"

"Oh." She took a deep breath, whispering as if to herself "This is hard."

He waited for her to continue, wondering what she was trying to say

"I've known for a while... I just never knew how to tell you or even if I should tell you... we've moved past that, and I didn't know how you'd react but I've gotta tell you..."

He broke in on her rambling.

"Just say it, Abs"

"Tim, I'm- I'm in love with you"

He looked at her in disbelief and rising anger. How dare she do this? For the first time in years, he had someone in his life that was making him happy, someone who wanted him.

"Why now, Abby?" he fought to keep his voice level.

"I don't want to lose you, Tim"

"You could have told me this before, Abby. God, you've had six years! I waited to hear you say that for six years!" he knew he was yelling now, but he couldn't help himself. "You can't do this, not now. It's too late."

She was pale and trembling, tears running down her face. His heart went out to her. As angry as he was, she was his best friend and he didn't want to hurt her.

In a small, broken voice she said "You love her, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, Abs, I do. I'm sorry."

She made an inarticulate sound, gesturing for him to leave. With a final glance her, he turned and walked out of the lab. She waited until she heard the ding of the elevator before she sank down and let herself weep. She was too late. She'd lost him.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update this, I'm having trouble with writer's block this week. Thanks for reading**

McGee went into work early on Monday, needing to distract himself from brooding over a particularly disastrous weekend. Shaken by his conversation with Abby, he'd driven more slowly than usual through the flood of people fighting to get home to start the weekend. Arriving at his apartment, he'd opened the door to find an envelope sitting on the floor, addressed to him in Emily's writing. The letter inside had been brief and to the point. She'd said she was sorry, but that she'd changed her mind; she was going back to her ex fiancé. He'd tried to call her, but every time he did her cell phone was off or his call was rejected.

After the first shock had worn off, he'd retained the presence of mind to call his parents and make his excuses; then he sat down and got quietly drunk, with the end result of waking up late Saturday morning with a hangover to go with his aching heart.

He'd sat at his desk, alternately re-reading Emily's letter and reliving the moment he'd broken his best friend's heart, the pain in his chest seeming to grow as he did so. Lost in his own world, he'd been momentarily surprised when he realised that it 11pm. He'd been there all day. Wearily he'd stumbled down into his room and climbed into bed. He'd stayed there most of Sunday, finally shaking off his lethargy late in the afternoon. Unable to look at the letter any longer, he'd run it through his heavy-duty shredder.

So now he sat at his desk in the deserted bullpen, trying to pull himself together enough to make it through the work day. Even Gibbs wasn't in yet, for which he was thankful. Gibbs had a way of seeing through everyone's carefully maintained facades which was downright uncanny, and McGee needed some time to collect himself before dealing with his boss. Particularly as the team leader was probably going to be irate when he saw Abby.

Soon Gibbs entered, depositing his badge and weapon in his desk as usual. He favoured McGee with a nod before making his way up the stairs towards the Director's office. Tony and Ziva exited the elevator together, Tony obviously in a good mood; he was laughing with Ziva about something that had happened over the weekend. McGee tried to look busy with the computer in front him, knowing what was coming next.

Tony swung his pack in behind his desk, and then turned to McGee.

"So, McLoverboy, how was your weekend?"

Unwilling to admit the truth, he settled for the generic

"Fine Tony, thanks."

"Really, McGee? Cause you don't look all that crash hot." He paused for a moment "That's the same answer I got from Abby, and she looks even worse than you."

McGee looked up at him. "Is she ok?"

"I dunno. Something's up- she's got no music on, no makeup, no pigtails. She wouldn't talk to me though, Probie; maybe you should try?"

McGee gave a mirthless laugh at that before replying positively. "She won't talk to me."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because it's my fault."

Tony looked at him blankly for a moment, and then opened his mouth to say something. He was interrupted by Gibbs' entrance into the bullpen.

"Grab your gear; we've got a dead sailor in Georgetown."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'd almost forgotten about this story. Here's an extremely belated third chapter. **

**Don't worry, I'm still working on the next chapter of 'Choices'. And I'm working on another new story. F.  
**

The weekend had passed by in a blur. She'd done everything she could come up with to avoid thinking about Tim; about their conversation on Friday night. And about what he was doing this weekend. She'd thoroughly cleaned her apartment, seen Android Lust in concert and gone bowling with the sisters. Nothing had worked; not that that had really surprised her. She'd been unable to stop thinking about Tim for months as it was; this was just more painful.

Unable to sleep, she dragged herself into work early on Monday morning. She needed some time to cover, to try and find some semblance of her usual enthusiasm. The first Caf-Pow of the day helped.

She hoped they'd get a case today, something intriguing, something she could lose herself in. A part of her wanted a case so it would bring him down to see her. She hated that part right now. He'd hurt her; logically he should be the last person she wanted to see at the moment, but she couldn't help it.

Tony entering her lab was the signal for her to put the hypothetical mask back on, to stick the pain back in the box and get down to business. It was only after he'd left that she realised that she'd forgotten to put on her makeup and tie up her hair. Knowing how much of a gossip Tony could be, she knew word would get back to Gibbs. And McGee.

...

The dead sailor in Georgetown appeared to be an accident. But they knew from experience that some accidents weren't really accidents, so they investigated until Ducky and Abby gave them the all clear. The team had spent hours processing the scene; which meant McGee had spent hours being questioned by Tony about why Abby's mood was his fault. Finally he'd snapped and told Tony that they'd had a fight, refusing to say what they'd been fighting about.

Arriving back at the Yard, he wearily clambered out of the truck and collected the evidence crates out of the back, carrying them up to Abby's lab. He deposited them on her stainless steel table, lingering nervously even after she'd signed the chain of evidence logs. She steadfastly refused to look at him.

"Abby."

She forestalled him. "I don't want to talk about it, McGee."

"Come on, Abs."

"Fine." She slammed the empty evidence crate down onto the tabletop, finally looking at him. Her green eyes were dark. "Talk."

"On Friday night..." He wanted to tell her that she was right, it had been too soon, that he'd gotten home to a 'Dear John' letter, but he couldn't find the words and then she was interrupting him.

"On Friday night I told you I love you and you told me you love someone else, McGee." The pain was evident in her voice. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt?" Mutely he shook his head. It was the most bitterly ironic situation he'd ever been in. He'd loved her for years; still did. And he'd rejected her for someone that didn't love him. He didn't even know it was possible to love two women at the same time, but he did. And now he'd hurt Abby even worse than she'd ever hurt him. He couldn't explain it to himself let alone to her.

"I'm sorry" he heard himself saying, unsure if he was apologising because of the pain he'd caused her or because of his inability to explain. Aware of how pathetic the words sounded, and how little they meant in the scheme of things he could only watch as she turned and walked away into her office and locked the automatic door.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the last conversation they had for weeks. She'd speak to him only if she had to; only if it concerned the case they were working on. At first he visited her lab as often as he could, trying to get her to talk to him. Then, worried that he was making things worse, he stopped going down to see her as frequently, reasoning that she'd speak to him when she was ready. He knew she was hurting-the whole team had noticed the change in Abby- but he didn't know what to do about it.

Never one to talk about his private life, he hadn't told anyone about Emily's letter; he was unwilling to admit how wrong he'd been about her. He suspected Tony knew something wasn't right, after catching a few odd looks from the senior field agent. The only one he'd ever felt comfortable talking to about his few abortive relationships was Abby; and that really wasn't an option right now. So he did his best to hide the pain, ignore how much he missed her, and carry on as nothing had changed.

...

It was a case that finally brought things to a head.

It was just a normal, uncomplicated case in a normal week; a sailor had been killed in what turned out to be a simple training accident. It was something they'd dealt with a hundred times; accidents did happen after all, and when it involved a branch of the armed services people tended to get injured.

But the dead seaman had been the only child of a widowed mother; he was all she had left in the world. And it was their job to tell her that he'd been killed. It was a task that never got any easier; the mother had started to weep, telling the team that they'd fought the day her son had joined the Navy; they hadn't spoken since.

It stuck in McGee's mind for the rest of the day. When Gibbs dismissed them, he headed to Abby's lab, using the stairs so the elevator wouldn't give him away.

She turned when she realised he was there.

"What do you want, McGee?"

He sighed. This was going to be harder than he'd thought.

"I want to talk to you."

She gave him a look that he couldn't interpret, but didn't get up and leave, which he took as a good sign.

"We had to go and tell someone that her only son had been killed today. And she told us that they'd had a fight when he joined the Navy; she didn't want him to join, and he stormed out and did it anyway. He'd been gone six months, and she hadn't spoken to him. Now he's dead and she'll never get to make up that fight. I don't want that to be us, Abs. And I know that we're barely even friends right now, and that's my fault. I don't know how to fix it, but I just want to be able to talk to you. I miss you. "

He waited for a few moments, hoping she'd respond, hoping that she missed him enough to talk to him, even if it was awkward and strange. Finally she sighed.

"It's not that easy, Tim" she told him. He nodded. "I know."

"Tony tried to warn me that I was too late, but I wouldn't listen. And now..." He nodded again. He understood. He wanted to tell her he loved her; but he wouldn't, couldn't tell her that now. Not when he wasn't over Emily. She deserved better than a rebound relationship, and he wouldn't do that to her.

"I know; but you're not the only one hurting, Abs." He paused. "Emily broke up with me. Well, not so much broke up with as left really. She left me a letter." He couldn't hide the pained tremble in his voice.

"When?" she asked in surprise.

"The weekend we were supposed to go to my parents. You were right, Abs."


	5. Chapter 5

She stared at him for a moment, searching for something to say. He was hurting, it was written all over his face, and she knew how much it cost him to admit that she was right. She should feel triumphant; she knew this Emily woman wasn't right for him. But he looked so sad.

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, hoping to comfort him and maybe make him smile a little. He stiffened in shock at first, and then she felt him relax and return the hug. As she held him, she felt a slow burning anger. How dare this woman hurt him so badly? He was _her Timmy_, even if he didn't want to be, and no one had the right to make him feel this way.

All too soon, he gently disengaged himself and took a step back. He smiled, but it was a lopsided, half-hearted thing that tore at her even more. "Thanks, Abs- I needed that." He paused, still looking at her, then continued. "I should go."

She nodded, wrestling with the anger and the jolt of sensation she always got from physical contact with McGee. When he was halfway out the door, she called out "Hey McGee?"

He turned. "Yeah, Abby?"

"I'm sorry." He gave her a questioning look. "I know you really cared about her."

He smiled at her again and this time it was closer to the smile she loved. "Thanks Abs."

...

Strangely, their brief conversation fixed things between them. Almost. McGee knew that things would never, could never return to the way they were before; Abby's confession still hung over them, as the metaphorical elephant in the room. But it was as close as things would get for now.

Slowly, things began to get better. McGee finally told Tony and Ziva about Emily's leaving, though not about the letter. After the obligatory comments about how his track record was getting almost as bad as Gibbs'- made when the boss wasn't around- Tony was surprisingly sympathetic. Typical DiNozzo, he quickly spoiled the effect by offering to set McGee up.

He began spending time in the lab again, though it wasn't entirely comfortable; he kept worrying that he was making things worse for Abby by being there. Sometimes it was like nothing had changed; and then sometimes he'd catch an odd, pained expression on her face and take it as his cue to go back to his desk.

Emily moved out of the building, for which he was grateful; luckily his work schedule meant that he rarely ran into the other occupants of the apartment complex, but at least now he didn't have to deal with any awkward moments that might arise. Gradually, he began to think of her less, the sense of loss lessening until finally he woke one morning and realised that he hadn't dreamt about her in weeks. A different face haunted his dreams now.

Abby's face.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This is it folks, the last chapter. And it's a longer one too :) Thank you all for reading and reviewing this story. F.**

McGee was undecided about what do about Abby. He loved her; he'd never denied that- at least to himself. But would she believe him if he told her? It was only a few short months since Emily had left; if he told her, he didn't want that hanging over them.

As the weeks went by and he wrestled with his decision not to tell her that he loved her-yet, he tried his best not to act like he had when they'd split up 6 years ago. No jealous looks, no overt interest every time her name was mentioned, and no hanging around the lab unnecessarily. And every day his yearning for her grew.

...

Abby noticed when McGee started to withdraw again. It was a subtle thing; after their conversation about Emily, he'd started spending time in the lab again. Now he was only there for brief periods of time, and usually when he'd been ordered to help her. They'd been through phases like this before; it was during the last one that she'd finally admitted to herself that her feelings for her best friend went way beyond friendship. She wished she knew what triggered this one, though. Usually these phases happened because she pushed him too far, and she worried that she'd damaged their relationship beyond repair by telling him that she loved him. She relaxed a little when she heard via Tony that McGee was unusually quiet with the rest of the team as well as with her. If it was because of her, he wouldn't be withdrawn with the rest of the team, would he?

...

Working back late one night recalibrating some of her equipment, she was surprised to hear the elevator ding. She thought the team had left for the night, and it wasn't late enough for the janitors to be coming through. She was even more surprised when no one entered; her lab was the only thing that elevator accessed. Turning, she found McGee hovering in her doorway, apparently undecided about entering.

"You don't have to stand out there all night, McGee" she told him.

He advanced a couple of steps into the room. "You looked busy; I didn't want to disturb you."

She put down the rack of test vials she was holding. "You're not; I'm just running some calibrations. What are you still doing here? I thought Gibbs sent you guys home hours ago."She studied him as she spoke; he looked ill at ease, even more so than he had around her for the past few months. She was right; something was going on with him. He exhaled noisily. "I was finishing up some things."

He settled on his usual chair, spinning it around so he faced away from the computer. She waited a minute, wondering if she was going to get more of an explanation out of him. Whatever was bothering him, he was close to talking about it. While he wasn't exactly secretive as Tony had once called him, he had the ability to carry on as if nothing was out of the ordinary if he didn't want to discuss it. Like when he'd written his first book. No one except for Gibbs had had the slightest clue that he was a bestselling author. Not even her. For him to come in search of her late at night... well, it was obvious he needed to get something off his chest.

When it became apparent that he wasn't going to talk, at least immediately, she picked up her abandoned rack of vials and continued on with her testing of Major Mass-Spec.

...

McGee sat, trying to decide what to say. He'd gotten up from his desk upstairs and marched down here, determined to tell Abby how he felt about her. But he'd gotten to her lab and his courage had failed him. As he sat, swinging the chair from side to side in his nervousness, he watched her move around the lab, totally at ease with the complex equipment. It constantly amazed him. How did this intelligent, outgoing, caring, beautiful woman fall for him? He was smart, sure, but otherwise... He was shy, and gawky, and terrible with women. Sometimes he thought he was going to wake up and find this was one of the dreams he had about Abby.

Finally he stood and touched her elbow to get her attention. He had to do this now; before he chickened out and lost whatever remaining chance he had with her. She turned, still holding one of the delicate glass tubes she'd been handling.

"Can we talk?"

He looked pointedly at the test tube in her hand. She slotted it carefully into a nearby rack, looking at him quizzically. He took a deep breath and began, haltingly. "A few months ago, Abs, you told me something."

She cut across him. "I told you that I love you, McGee." Her voice was a little curt. "That didn't work out so well." The memory of that night obviously still hurt.

"One day I hope you'll forgive me for that, Abs" he told her softly.

"Why are you bringing this up now, Tim?" The question came out through gritted teeth.

He took a small step closer to her. "Because I love you, Abby. Because I don't want to waste another moment." He took another half step toward her, hoping she wouldn't push him away. She looked up at him in confusion. "But... But you love Emily."

He shook his head. "I loved Emily, Abs- for a few months. I've loved you for six years. Emily started because I couldn't have you." "You told me that" she said numbly. "You said I'd had six years." He nodded. "Emily was a mistake. And I know I'm probably too late, and I'll try to understand if you've changed your mind... but do you think we could try?"

She stared up at him for a moment while he tried desperately to read her expression. Then she moved suddenly, and she was in his arms, her lips on his. As he crushed her to him, the thought crossed his mind that Abby felt good to him in a way that no one else had ever come near.

It was his last conscious thought for a long while.


End file.
